Today is a picturesque fall morning, and I took the scenic route to breakfast. To be truthful, I did not really have plans for the route, or even where I was going to eat. It was an opportunity for me to get lost in my own city–to discover something new. On this un-formed adventure, however, I saw some REALLY funny business names.

The first business was called Gold Tooth Master. I can only imagine, by the name, that the service was targeted to the African-American community. Big, gold teeth popularized by rap stars, I am sure, were available and apparently installed on your teeth. There were plenty of question that arise from a business like this: Are the gold teeth installed by a licensed Dentist? Are they considered medical or cosmetic (makes a difference for dental insurance)? Are they permanent or temporary? The biggest question, however, was whether or not the owner realizes the connection between his terminology and slavery.

The second business name that caught my attention was simply, “God’s Gym.” This is an obvious play on Gold’s Gym name and brand. The removal of a single letter from the name of an icon changed almost every aspect of the core business that they have in common. The new name conjures visions of Christians and evangelism. More importantly, it implies that going to the gym and lifting weights is not about vanity–but, about something greater. You are making yourself stronger to do the Lord’s will. The best part of God’s Gym, in my opinion, was the logo painted on the face of the building showing a cartoon-like musle-bound version of the Lord lifting a cross.

The third business name adheres to a strict business principle: a potential client should know exactly what you do by the name of your business. What is humorous about this business is not necessarily the name, but rather, what they do. Titan Barbershop and Auto Detailing has apparently combined car and personal grooming at the same location. While this is the absolute model for a niche-market business, the humor is that I have simply never considered combining the two services into a single location. I wonder if they sterilize shop-vacuums between detailing . . . .

The breakfast place that I discovered on my un-adventure had a train-themed decor, and made very uninteresting food. As soon as the hanging electric train was activated, the business was transformed. All of the children in the building began screaming and pointing in delight at the model train suspended in the air. That same magical button, however, did not transform my food into something more palatable. Discovering both the good and the bad is part of the adventure . . . .