I think I want to start a cult.

A cult doesn’t need any logic. There has to be some intricacies to the concept–some details that are completely illogical. If your cult was based upon logic, no one would believe it. And, someone could apply logic to your cult and either prove or disprove it. Faith-based statement, by contrast, are really untouchable. All you have to say is, “Well, I believe it” and you are done–your point is defended. An argument of Logic versus Faith would be like a duel between a wizard and a soldier. You pick which side is which (and you can also pick who you think would win).

A cult has to have some history behind it. It has to have a good story. If you can retell the history of your cult in under an hour, no one will join. If the story is complex enough, however, it will take a few sittings (or, perhaps a Website) to get everything across. You can also reward cult members for memorizing certain parts of the history. If it requires a book-length work, all kinds of people would surely join. People believe stuff printed in books, and you could probably get them to buy the book. A pamphlet would have to be free. But, you could definitely charge for a book.

A cult is a great way to make friends. It would depend on how you structure your cult, but your troubles with meeting people would literally vanish. Set a weekly activity (Sundays seem to be pretty good for everybody) and require everyone to attend. If they don’t attend, threaten them with eternal damnation or something. You could also hold a mid-week meeting for the overzealous members (and get them to buy the book about the history, and you can talk about different parts of it). If you require your cult members to bring a friend at least once a month, you may find yourself with hundreds or thousands of friends. If all of them bought the book . . . .

A cult is a great way to influence fashion. You can use the dress code of your cult to enforce all of your favorite fashion trends. If you like long denim skirts or khaki pants, you could just put that into the dress code. Say, for example, you have a stocking fetish, you could easily require that every woman’s legs be covered in stockings. I suppose if you like high-heels and tight jeans, you could do something like that, too. It’s kinda 80’s, but you should be able to pull it off. After all, that one guy got everyone to wear white tennis shoes.

A cult is a great way to get a paid vacation. In order to make your cult followers think that you are doing things to promote your cult, you would need to interact with other cults. If you tell them that your trip is vital to the growth of your cult, you should be able to get them to pay for it. You will have to pick a place that is a bit obscure, or else they won’t buy it. If you tell them that you are going to Maui, they might raise an eyebrow. If you go to some obscure country – perhaps an impoverished nation – they might not even want proof that you did anything to promote anything. Just that fact that you didn’t pick Maui for your vacation might be enough.

It seems like there is a lot of money in cults. That bloke who invented Scientology was totally rich (he’s still making money now).