Electronic Writer

I think I want to start a cult.

A cult doesn’t need any logic. There has to be some intricacies to the concept–some details that are completely illogical. If your cult was based upon logic, no one would believe it. And, someone could apply logic to your cult and either prove or disprove it. Faith-based statement, by contrast, are really untouchable. All you have to say is, “Well, I believe it” and you are done–your point is defended. An argument of Logic versus Faith would be like a duel between a wizard and a soldier. You pick which side is which (and you can also pick who you think would win).

A cult has to have some history behind it. It has to have a good story. If you can retell the history of your cult in under an hour, no one will join. If the story is complex enough, however, it will take a few sittings (or, perhaps a Website) to get everything across. You can also reward cult members for memorizing certain parts of the history. If it requires a book-length work, all kinds of people would surely join. People believe stuff printed in books, and you could probably get them to buy the book. A pamphlet would have to be free. But, you could definitely charge for a book.

A cult is a great way to make friends. It would depend on how you structure your cult, but your troubles with meeting people would literally vanish. Set a weekly activity (Sundays seem to be pretty good for everybody) and require everyone to attend. If they don’t attend, threaten them with eternal damnation or something. You could also hold a mid-week meeting for the overzealous members (and get them to buy the book about the history, and you can talk about different parts of it). If you require your cult members to bring a friend at least once a month, you may find yourself with hundreds or thousands of friends. If all of them bought the book . . . .

A cult is a great way to influence fashion. You can use the dress code of your cult to enforce all of your favorite fashion trends. If you like long denim skirts or khaki pants, you could just put that into the dress code. Say, for example, you have a stocking fetish, you could easily require that every woman’s legs be covered in stockings. I suppose if you like high-heels and tight jeans, you could do something like that, too. It’s kinda 80’s, but you should be able to pull it off. After all, that one guy got everyone to wear white tennis shoes.

A cult is a great way to get a paid vacation. In order to make your cult followers think that you are doing things to promote your cult, you would need to interact with other cults. If you tell them that your trip is vital to the growth of your cult, you should be able to get them to pay for it. You will have to pick a place that is a bit obscure, or else they won’t buy it. If you tell them that you are going to Maui, they might raise an eyebrow. If you go to some obscure country – perhaps an impoverished nation – they might not even want proof that you did anything to promote anything. Just that fact that you didn’t pick Maui for your vacation might be enough.

It seems like there is a lot of money in cults. That bloke who invented Scientology was totally rich (he’s still making money now).

What happened to the three tenets of Conservatives? And, for that matter, what is going on in the world? Do things seem crazy to anyone else besides me? I thought the Conservative mantra was Reduce Spending, Control Immigration, and Shrink Government. And, I thought that we have a Republican-conservatively-controlled government (as in all three branches).

From the looks of things, we have not accomplished a single one of those items. According to today’s NY Times, our Government has raised the level at which the American Government goes into DEFAULT 5 times since a certain someone has come into office.

Are the creditors calling the White House?

As for immigration: the borders are basically open. Big companies no longer have to even recognize that they exist. As individuals, we have to check every single transaction with Big Brother. But, if we were to simply send our money over the borders (and it would prove to be profitable for business), we could get that blessing easily.

While I love the idea of shrinking the government, it is absolutely impossible at this point. Our beauracracy has metastatized into Orwellian proportions. In fact, I am sure that the sheer size of it all would make Franz Kafka cringe in his grave.

And, they keep spending and spending and spending money that we don’t have . . . .

Our only recourse is to vote in every single election between here and change. Call your Senators, and Representatives. Ask tougher questions. Read the fine print. The sound bites from Fox are not giving you the information you need.

Stop doing what you have been doing, and from here on out, only do things that can fix what is wrong. Apathy isn’t going to help anyone.

It felt like an excommunication. Or, perhaps a better analogy may be that of an exorcism. In a grand ceremony, with all the ritual and splendor, I started.

“Advertisements, I command thee to flee–to come out and be gone.”

And, with the flick of a switch, they obeyed. (Okay, I actually changed the code in my code class and uploaded the revised bugger, but that can be our little secret, can’t it?)

Regardless of which analogy you prefer, I could no longer tolerate the countless services advertising essays for sale, and the blatant smack of Capitalism on the cheek of my pet project.

On a more pratical level, it was a terrible visual clutter. A busy element to the eye. Perhaps they were something that could have been better incorporated into the design, but who really wants to try THAT hard to add the ads?

Anyways, I feel better about this project now that it is not subsidized or funded by anyone or anything except my love for literature and language. The only terms and conditions that I have to follow are my own . . . .

In the future, things may change. I may add a donations page. I may advertise again. But, for right now, my passion is burning brightly enough to fuel my own work in this process.

Fortunately, my passion is a renewable resource. No drilling required.

Each year, while most people are dreading the almighty April 15th deadline, I have a different feeling about the whole thing. For me, getting prepped for my annual visit with the CPA is a nice, long trip down memory lane–one receipt at a time.

So, I am going to quickly recount my last year in receipts:

The first of January in 2005 found me stuffing receipts with the Euro symbol on them in my pockets. I was in Paris for 10 days, and spent another 4 in San Francisco afterwards. There were museum stubs from La Louvre, espresso receipts from the Marais, and a whole collection of Metro tickets. Itemized lists of food printed on tiny white slips of paper was not quite as good as eating those meals, but it was fun for awhile.

A single, handwritten receipt brought me back to docks of my sailing lessons in the early summer.

In the summer time, there were weekly receipts from the Friday afternoon concerts in the park. Oddly enough, they were from the Beer Gardens, and certainly would not qualify as deductible. Regardless of the tax implications (or lack, thereof), they certainly brought back the memories of a summer of Red Hook beer and live music in the maddening Sacramento heat.

Towards the end of the year, there were records of the spawning of my last relationship. There were dinners that her and I had together, coffee receipts, and stubs from an occasional midtown drink. Too bad that more things didn’t survive, but finding these relics certainly left a wonderful taste in my mouth . . . .

The end of the year papertrail recorded Christmas presents, art supplies, new Christmas-time music, and for a moment, I thought I heard the prancing of hooves of reindeer on the roof. Maybe not, but it was festive for just a moment.

I don’t think there is a moral to this story, unless, it is the simple encouragement to NOT keep on top of your tax information all year long. Perhaps you could simply save the work for the couple of days prior to your tax appointment, and take the scenic route (Turn right on Memory Lane) to your CPA’s office . . . .

Whoever invented the saying had obviously NEVER had anything truthful to say. Perhaps, we could even call them a liar . . . .

The truth has always been so much more problematic than that. Throughout history, the truth has been responsible for murder, torture, pain, burden, and an entire slew of lies. Truth has made some delusional and others self-righteous. In fact, the truth has been behind so many things – both bad and good – that it is almost an entirely problematic concept.

One thing for sure is that the Truth rarely sets you free.

In Plato’s “Cave Analogy,” the truth was quietly reflected and distorted onto a wall in front of us. We were chained to the opposite wall, and could only see the distortion, and that is what we had grown to know as reality.

One of us freed himself or herself from the chains that enslaved the rest of us to our ideals, and escaped from the cave. That person saw the Truth–and was immediately aware of the distortion that the rest of us believed.

When he or she came back inside to tell us about the Truth, we thought they had become a lunatic. In modern times, I am sure we would have them locked up or thrown in jail. In olden times, perhaps we would have stoned them to death. Regardless of the time, our reaction is the same. The person who holds the truth is a threat . . . that we must eliminate.

Perhaps Plato meant the opposite of his example. The people chained to the wall were happy, and yet the person with the truth was labeled as a threat. Perhaps he meant that the Truth may get you free, but will certainly enslave you for as long as you keep it.

I, of course, have my own opinions about the Truth. It is the very thing that gives the sense of entitlement to those standing on their own soap boxes. It is also the very thing that gives the sense of entitlement to those who pull them down. The truth is sought-after, hidden, denied, ignored, cherished, and seems to be somewhat involved with just about everything that we do.

If you are hiding from the Truth, fabricating, or denying it, you are not alone. Everyone has been in your position at some time or another. Some people make hiding from it a way of life, and others have just been thrust into some bad situation and forced to make a choice.

If, however, you find yourself holding the Truth, or a truth, or some truth, keep it close, hold it aloft, hide it, or share it with the world. In fact, you can do anything you want with it. Just don’t expect it to set you free . . . .

On September 12th of 2001, I put a small American flag in the back window of my car. Tiny letters spelled out “United We Stand”–a sentiment that had resonances in nearly all reaches of our country.

My tiny display of patriotism was easily overshadowed. Ladders were used to climb into dusty attics, and flags were pulled from their boxes, unrolled, and placed into holders mounted upon walls of houses. Stickers of all shapes and sizes were given away to be stuck on bumpers and windows of cars of all shapes and sizes. Larger flags were flown on the outside of cars–attached by suction cups, or latches that hooked onto window edges. The most dramatic displays were seen on 4-wheel drive vehicles. Huge, life-sized cloth flags lashed somewhere to the cab and flying proudly for everyone to see. Humongous moving testaments to patriotism.

American patriotism was everywhere. It was thick in the very air of our nation. For the first time in years, I had hope for us. My nearly chronic melancholy had set in years ago. Americans were apathetic. We were happy when 30% of our population turned up to vote. Numbers that conjured grade school charts with two columns. One column listed the priviledges of Democracy. The opposing column recorded the responsibilities of Democracy. Voting had been listed as a responsibility–not a priviledge. It was hailed as the cornerstone of Democracy, and yet nearly 70% of us weren’t paying attention that day. Or, perhaps they heard the lesson just fine, and didn’t care.

When I looked around on the day after our tragedy, things genuinely seemed different. Everyone had a flag on their car. There were flags on homes. People were crying, and angry, and everyone wanted to see what they could do. People were scared. Everyone seemed to feel something. Apathy had apparently vanished altogether.

I was hopeful that we, as a nation, would participate again in the discussion about our country. I was hopeful that we would sit around and discuss politics–rather than avoiding that topic and talking about sports, instead. I was hopeful that we would talk about the issues–a behavior that our forefathers envisioned for us. I was hopeful that information would be disbursed to the public, and that the public would take it, discuss, and choose. The flurry of activity was impressive. For the first time in years, our country was brimming with questions–instead of answers.

As the months trudged forward, things started to change. The 4×4 trucks left their flags up day and night. Those flags got wet in the rain, and froze through the nights. The edges became frayed from flapping continuously in the wind–and, they never were replaced, or hemmed, or repaired. The suction cup flags lost their suction, and fell off the cars on freeways, and city streets, and parking lots. Those bumper stickers faded from the sunlight, and some were removed altogether.

What an accurate and terrible symbol those outward displays have become. The patriotism that had been jolted awake, has been lulled back into complacency. It is as if America hit the snooze button on the Patriotism clock and drifted back into some dream.

We still need those feelings of anger, sadness, grief and confusion. Take a look around us. Nothing has been resolved since that tragedy. We have only witnessed wave after wave of finger pointing and in our fervor, we have given our trust at the expense of our constitution and our freedoms.

We still need more questions coming from America. Without all of the information, it is generally NOT recommended to make brash statements, and yet we conitnue. We make edicts and deliver speeches and send signals to other Americans as well as the rest of the world. We are standing high upon our own rickety soap box, reading from the speech we wrote years ago, and quite frankly, even we are not buying it.

And, we need more flags. They don’t have to be ostentatious. They don’t have to be bigger than the flags on other cars, or the flag on your neighbor’s house. But, we need you to put your flag up.

We need you to sew our flag when it is torn. We need you to not let our flag touch the ground. We need you to fold it and store at night–and when it rains. But, most of all, we need that flag to mean something about America. It is a symbol of America and what it means to be from the United States of America–not a piece of cloth.

Our flag is the signature of our work as a nation of freedom-loving people who value human life, protect human rights, and believe that all people are created equal. And, right now, we are using it to sign some pretty bad documents that do not represent me or my values.

Fly our flag. Defend our freedoms. Participate in our country. And, demand more of our politicians and fellow Americans because you will be held accountable for everything that we do.